In strange arms
by vampanime guy
Summary: yeah, i know i've pretty much been flirting one idea and that story ever since i've joined this community, but i just don't have the motivation to finish a story, sorry, people. But this time, i rly like how things r going, so R&R and maybe ill go for it!
1. To taste what you can't have

I couldn't help myself. Not after all I've gone through. Not after nagisa left me. My sweet,sweet, nagis-chan. I still have that notebook with me. On the first day, when we just met. I remember that embarrassed look on her face.

I can never look at it and smile anymore.

She must be very happy with Shizuma. Unlike me, their feelings are mutual. I see them often together now. It has been two months since the elections. Not that I've noticed. They visit the Etoile once in a while, usually. In the greenhouse. I see them cherish those memories they had, and look forward to the ones that will come to pass.

I can only watch on, as the flower wilts away, leaving nothing but the lingering remnants of what was and what could have been. I can almost imagine it sometimes. Me and nagisa, together as the new Etoiles. But each time I never make it.

I end up crying on my own.

Everyone, though seems accepting of this tenuous, new and unfamiliar relationship between those two. They still look on with the same admiration and respect they did when Shizuma was still Etoile. But I can sense something different in their eyes.

Envy.

I wonder if I could be like Kaname. Thinking up those devious plots to get what she wants. But I am too weak, too rational. Everyone knows how that line of action would end.

…...

Which is why I find myself in the arms of Miyuki Rokujo.

It's ironic, you know. We've both lost something that was dear to us. Something we both tasted but can never feel again. I think we're just consoling each other now. But we've been doing that for the past month.

Her touch is new and oddly pleasant, to me. Every caress is so careful, sensitive, yet over tipping with emotion and passion. One time, I thought she was going to collapse in my arms and cry.

That isn't right. Not for the student council president. But as inappropriate as this is, I want it to happen. For someone to finally open up to me. Screw rules. Screw pride,seniority, whatever...right now, I only want love.

It's painful for both of us, nonetheless. No matter how long we are together, or if I somehow manage to find my heart with her, we will never forget. Not until the day we die.

Perhaps we are, just, you know, helping one another get over our loss, moving on after we have recovered. She probably will forget about me in a year or so. I know we both have different destinies. But I don't want to know. I want this to last as long as it can. This sorrowful peace. This strange relationship. This is how I feel in her arms. On her bed. And please. No fantasies, people.

Who knows? Maybe we might end up together. I guess we have to see, huh?

"Hey, Miyuki?"

"Yes?"

"Where do you want to go?"


	2. Strange walks

"Where are you taking me?"

We had been running for almost fifteen minutes. Both of us were panting heavily, though Miyuki obviously did not want to admit. I started to have a feeling that none of us knew where we were going. But as we held each other's hands, the icy chill of late winter rushing past our bodies, I felt a very strange sensation in my chest. Weird…it was as though I was almost warm.

Without notice, Miyuki stopped in her tracks. Very abruptly. My momentum almost made me land face first on the frosted ground, but I never reached it.

A pair of strong, warm hands was enveloping my waist. Strange. I looked behind. Miyuki looked so…clam. There was no other way to say it. Inhaling, she lifted my body, holding my body closer to her…

Without warning, her pulled into a tight embrace, my back crushed gently to her chest. I was gasped slightly, but I held back from saying anything. We both needed it now, and Miyuki's tight grip wasn't about to loosen. It was so desperate. Like a plea. But so warm.

I'm guess I wasn't strong enough, after all.

She held me like this for a full 5 minutes before letting go. Even though both of our cheeks were flushed, I could tell it wasn't just from the cold.

"Hey…why did you do that?"

She smiled weakly.

"Well, I guess I couldn't help it."

The bold statement took me by surprise. I was shocked by this simple, yet clear answer. Leaning closer to her, I took her by the hand and led her on a light stroll along the snow-covered path. The path I had walked so many times before. But this time, I don't walk alone. I still wonder how this happened. I don't even know myself now, much less my true feelings for…her. But, as winter hasn't ended yet…

"I know exactly where to go."

…

"Where _are_ we going, Shizuma-san?"

"You know you don't have to call me that anymore."

She was right. But I couldn't just start addressing her with a term like "Shizuma-chan" right away. It would take…time.

"But I can't help it!"

"What if I wanted you to help it? Hmm?"

She was staring at me again, like the time we had first met. My cheeks flushed even brighter than it was before. My legs stood still, rooted to the ground. I think they like it too much.

She bent down, her eyes full playfulness, of amusement, of care…but most importantly, they held love. I like that. I really do.

The kiss was slower, sweeter this time…something that surprised me. We weren't big fans of patience. But…

It ended quickly, leaving behind that aftertaste that tasted like…cherry.

Strange. I don't like cherry.

Her eyes never left me as she took my hand, walking deeper into the embrace of the forest. It was like the forest could swallow me anytime, that I would faint at any moment now.

It hasn't been long since that day, where she said she loved me. The first of many to time. When I kissed her on the patch of grass, the garland of flowers encircling our necks. Also the first of many to come. Well, sorry if I sound a little too dramatic. I just can't help it with her. I'm hopeless.

My schoolmates look at me in a different light now. Their words are always kind, their expressions still so lovely. But they've changed; somehow…Shizuma-san said nothing. She just…smiles, as though nothing is wrong. I hope that's right. But nothing beats reality. When _have_ I become so mature, anyway? It kind of scares me, how I understand so much more after my time with Shizuma…chan.

Finally, she stops at the big tree. The one where we first met at. I don't even know the species or name of it. I guess I will never be able to know. But it doesn't matter. She matters.

Sweeping the slivery strands on loose hair on her face, she looks at me. It's that look again. The one from so long ago.

_"I spent a short summer with her here. But, my memories are still just as vivid..."_

"Do you truly wish to know? What i felt for her?"

I do not understand. Why is she talking to me like that?

"Yes."

Tense breathing. Legs trembling. Hearts pounding.

"Do you want to know what it was like at first?"

"I…"

"It was protectiveness at first. Pity for a soul so weak. Sympathy for a bird that had lost its wings. Do you know how that feels? Not being able to fly."

She paused, hesitant, but managed to go on.

"But she was never truly sad when she first came to us. She always seemed to accept her fate. And it was this optimism, this passionate tenacity that drew me to her. Just like you, she colored my world."

"In my dreams, I could see her flying away with me. She finally grew wings…but it never lasted for long. The Sun melted her wings away, and down she went, further, and further, into the dark sea, where finally drowned, a tear in her eye as she went down."

"Do you understand how I felt? How a hole had been carved where my heart was? I was the one who told her to fly. I was the one who killed her. I…was the one who made her cry."

"No! Please! Don't say it anymore!"

I couldn't take it like this. I couldn't bear to watch her pain anymore. In fact, it was me who could not bear the pain in the end. Just like that night so long ago. That stormy, awful night.

I held her tightly by the back, the tears welling in my eyes as I kissed her again and again. Like the girl who couldn't get enough of the flower. She would come by everyday, to visit that one flower, just to breath in its scent.

But this flower would stay with me forever.

When it was all over, she pulled our faces in together, her feelings still overflowing from that outburst. But she could finally breath now.

We stayed like that for a while. I didn't mind.

"Hey…Nagisa, do you love me?"

"What? I…oh. Of course I do, Shizuma-chan."

"You…you finally called me that. That was the first time you called me that. Maybe...maybe i did attain something."

I looked at her. She was so beautiful.

"Just one thing, though…why did you tell me-?

"Because you are the only one in my heart now. I love you, not Kaori. When i look at you, i don't see her reflection. I see you."

"But…"

I knew what she meant.

Taking me by the hand once more, we started striding back to the dormitories. It would be time for the curfew soon.

"Nagisa-chan?"

"Huh?"

"Want to hold a party?"

Eh...I guess there are some things I will never get about her…

…

**Well, that's the end of chapter 2! As always, pls R&R and give me some suggestions, alright? I am loving this right now!**

**P.S. CUTE-NESSSSS**


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